My older daughter has been living with us for more than a year now. It has been just fine. We don’t have a giant house, but the finished ground floor (walkout with patio) is large and has a modest adjacent bathroom with shower and room for lots of storage. She has a parking space across the street for her car, public transit access, a WeWork desk in the financial district, the big tv and loveseat partitioned off by a large IKEA divider (we only requisition it for Patriots games or movies when she is away), good internet service, and a well stocked kitchen (she cooks for the family sometimes), and I try to make meals for “2 ½” just in case, and there is no need to label the food containers in the fridge – if something gets eaten, so be it. For the first year the room was not configured as a permanent studio apt – but this summer’s flood required a reno and that fact papered over two thorny issues – the grand piano, not used for several years, needed to go to storage to do the floor and so it wasn’t a sad rite of passage into senescence for my husband, and also, fixing the room up nicely was a no brainer, so it was not a conscious acknowledgement on either my side or hers that the relaunch isn’t imminent, with all that implies.
What has been unexpected for me is that I really enjoy having another adult around. She helps out and takes up some of the household burden in subtle ways, and not so subtly in that I can leave DH without a lot a worry. I also have someone else besides him as companion. The downside for him is that I have someone else besides him as companion. I have to be more attentive about scheduling couple time. On the other hand, we choose to leave for a few days or longer more often to get away and alone, and it is easier to do so because we don’t have to make arrangements for the animals or other empty house worries.
Of course, I want her to get steady work, consulting or traditional, and move into an apartment again. She lived on her own for 17 years starting at age 20 and still has a decent retirement nest egg, if not much left in the after tax accounts.
Totebaggers, please share your experiences, if any, with multigenerational living and any other thoughts.