123 thoughts on “Tuesday open thread

  1. You all know my fascination with the old old.

    In 1947, when he was 24, he was the first person to break the sound barrier. He retired as a brigadier general in the Air Force at the age of 57… in 1975. He sure got his money’s worth out of that pension.

  2. I was surprised to learn that he was still alive until this year. We discussed Yeager last night during dinner and DD never heard of Chuck Yeager. There was also an article about the novel, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. She never heard of that book. When I mentioned that Bobbie Thomas from the Today show lost her husband – DD was all over that and she clearly was aware of current events that were much closer to her own age. The same thing happened when we were int he car because we were listening to her music and the Emilee Flood & Lofi version of I Love You Baby was on the radio. I played the original and at least there was some recognition that this was a remake of the Frankie Valli song. I’ve seen Jersey Boys so many times and she does know music from the Four Seasons.

  3. “We discussed Yeager last night during dinner and DD never heard of Chuck Yeager.”

    It’s one of those names I’ve heard, but I had no idea who he was until this morning. I saw a headline and thought maybe he was some actor.

  4. L & NoB,

    Technically, the Superior Court matter dealt with a tangle of lawsuits involving a modest cache of assets — some rural property, a little money, a tractor, some lithographs autographed by Yeager and the rights to his life story beyond what has already been covered in the public domain and in his autobiographies. But its emotional center was the widower’s decision in 2003 to marry Victoria Scott D’Angelo, 36 years his junior and a former actress and sometime drifter whom his children distrusted.


  5. I’m a little surprised that Milo didn’t know who Yeager was. I guess most adults do not? I’d be surprised if my D does, but she sometimes surprises me. I didn’t know about his personal life with the second wife. It could be a Moneyist column.

  6. DW brought up a new investment suggestion, a wedding contribution fund. Now that DS1 & 2 have been living with their SOs of 2+ and 3+ years for a while, it seems likely these two might be the one(s). And we are clearly the better off of the potential parents-in-law in each mix and so we feel we’d like to provide our kids a base fund for their weddings/receptions (while remaining cognizant of keeping everyone happy, not stepping on the other parents’ turf if it’ll cause problems). So we’ll start funding that next month; I’m more of a $ cost average guy than a lump sum investment guy.

  7. What about the film, The Right Stuff? I read the book and I think the movie was released when I was a teen. Lots of info about Yeager. Sam Shepard was awesome.

    Milo lives near the Air and Space museum. I don’t even live near DC, but I’ve been to that museum a dozen times and there is stuff about Yeager.

  8. You also wonder how much of Chuck Yeager’s life had to do with being named Charles “Chuck” Yeager. He was on the Bell X-1 team with Chalmers Goodlin. When the boss was picking who was going to make the run for Mach 1, you have to figure the marketing impact of the name had to have something to do with it.

    Fun fact Yeager is an anglicization of Jäger, the German word for hunter. Jägermeister meaning master of the hunt.

  9. Fred, just curious about why you want to segregate this money from your other accounts? I assume that you have some sort of amount in mind that you might want to contribute to each couple when they plan their reception. I understand why certain people need separate accounts for saving for college, a house, vacation, etc. From what you’ve shared, you/DW don’t seem to just “spend” that money on something else without thinking about a major expense that is possible in the future.

  10. Lauren – Not to speak for Fred, but given the Advice Thread last week, this seems like a clean way to ensure that their wishes are clear about the money. It would also seem if he is putting in a fixed $ amount each month with the same investment mix, the son who waits longer might have more to spend.

  11. My DS has surprised me by news facts he has read. He has never liked reading fiction. He will watch those endless product video about the features of tech products where the guys seem to drone on in the same monotone.

  12. Not that surprising that Tony didn’t have a will, because he didn’t have a wife or kids to care for. Yes, it’s stupid, but it seems he wasn’t thinking all that clearly about his life. (If he had life insurance, would it pay out for an event that looked a lot like suicide?) For those of us who have done due diligence with wills, this is a good reminder about the need to put together a death book:

    “I’ve written about this before, but here’s a recap of what you should include in your death book. (If that’s too morbid, just call it a “letter of instructions.”) Think of it like CliffsNotes for your personal and financial information.

    — Your will or trust, of course. And because you know your people, if necessary, leave detailed instructions on who gets what. Yes, folks will fight over the china or your doll collection, which isn’t worth much.

    — Advance health-care directives, including your living will, which details the type of medical treatment you want at the end of your life, and your health-care power of attorney, which is a document that lists who can make medical decisions for you if you can’t speak for yourself.

    — A list of passwords and user IDs for your banking accounts and computer/mobile phone. To make it easier, use a password manager, which stores all your log-in details in an online safe-deposit box.

    — Homeownership information, including the mortgage servicer.

    — The titles to vehicles or other property.

    — Retirement accounts/pension information.

    — Life insurance policy information. Make sure beneficiaries are up to date. I’ve worked with people who found out that an ex-spouse was listed on the life insurance policy. The current wife got nothing.

    — Leave instructions for the kind of funeral arrangements you want. Do you want to be buried or cremated?

    — Include your bio or resume, which will help in writing your obituary. I know. You don’t want to think about this. But think about how much easier you’ll make it for your family not to have to hunt around for your biographical information.

    — Instructions if you are entitled to military honors at your funeral. If you are a veteran, make sure you include your military discharge papers (DD214 or other separation documents).” https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2020/12/07/tony-hsieh-zappos-death-will/

  13. He was worth an estimated $750 million. I don’t think a life insurance payout really matters.

  14. I knew about Chuck Yeager from reading The Right Stuff. He’s also mentioned in _The Glass Castle_ because Jeannette Walls interviewed him for her school paper when he visited her high school in his home state of West Virginia.

  15. If Tony wanted his estate to go to his parents and siblings and that’s what’s what will happen since he died in testate – how much does having a will matter? A trust would matter in terms of avoiding probate of course. But what about a will?

  16. My MIL & FIL are 92 and 97. And have no wills. No death instructions, not even a fricking cemetery plot, though plenty of direction about how *not* to bury them next to so and so. I can’t really understand their avoidance. DH is an only child, so I think they figure its unnecessary??? It will be a real mess if DH were to die before them. (Looking unlikely, I’ll admit.)

  17. Lauren –
    You and Austin are both right. You on the likelihood of us being able to come up with our desired amount for the kids and Austin on the process. Fund the account till we reach the desired amount then stop but keep it invested until all three are paid out. The plan is for the first to announce will get 1/3 of the balance; the second 1/2 of what’s left when the time comes; the last the remaining balance. Timing flexible…not at engagement but sometime between then and the wedding. At some point if no wedding / permanent relationship seems to be in the cards for the last we’d probably just give it to him toward a house downpayment, business seed fund or something similar.

  18. Rhett – if your wishes mean you think the intestacy laws are fine, then there is no need to have a will – HOWEVER for the Hsieh estate it does mean that all of his individually owned assets will now have to go thru probate (public process) and it may take longer for the estate to be administered. The interesting thing would be if the intestacy laws were different in CT (where he died) vs UT (where he was domiciled) and different members of the family tried to open probate proceedings in the 2 different states! This sounds like a law school exam hypothetical now that I type it out.

    Sunshine – sorry! I have an aunt/uncle who are the same. They own a bunch of rental real estate so it will be a huge PITA (and my cousin is an only child who lives far away and doesn’t want to be stuck with the estate admin, but she will be).

  19. HOWEVER for the Hsieh estate it does mean that all of his individually owned assets will now have to go thru probate (public process)

    But that’s true even if there is a will. It’s the trust that lets things escape probate, right? Or in your line of work do wills never exist without a trust?

  20. I’m still a little bitter about how little planning the ILs did around their deaths. They had some specific instructions, (funeral home, funeral plots) but had not prepaid anything or done much in the way of arrangements. MIL died when FIL went into the hospital (completely unsurprisingly, she was in hospice care). We needed to come up with cash to fund all kinds of stuff on the spot. Fortunately, we were at a place in life where we could write a few 10k checks, but it was unnecessarily messy.

    Having said that, I am pretty sure my parents have done absolutely nothing (they probably don’t have wills). However, they also don’t have a lot of strong preferences. They have kind of mumbled about cremation and no service. However, I doubt that their deaths will trigger some kind of financial panic and crisis in the same way.

  21. Rhett – yes. You have to retitle things out of your individual name in order for them to escape probate. Some people use LLCs and corporations to hold title in addition to trusts. I do have clients who have wills with no trusts but they are in the minority.

  22. “If Tony wanted his estate to go to his parents and siblings and that’s what’s what will happen since he died in testate – how much does having a will matter? A trust would matter in terms of avoiding probate of course. But what about a will?”

    Rhett — I actually agree with your general point — for some people, having a will naming your next of kin as your beneficiaries ends up producing the same result as dying intestate (where your next of kin, as defined by state law, will inherit under default rules). In MA, if Tony died with no spouse or children, the parent(s) would be the NOK — siblings wouldn’t take anything.

    The other thing that is much cleaner if you have a will, though, as opposed to dying intestate, is that in a will, you can name your personal representative (a.k.a. executor). If you don’t have a will, then there are default rules (at least in MA) regarding who has the right to appoint the PR. But if more than one person has the right to appoint, and they disagree on who should be appointed, then that can get messy.

  23. L,

    I was just googling around and it seems like another reason to have a will is that a will takes precedence over other claims. If Tony texted his GF, “Thanks for bailing me out the other day. Remember if I die you get everything.” That may be binding? But if there is a will then what’s in the will counts and what promises are made outside the will don’t.

    I think….

  24. “We needed to come up with cash to fund all kinds of stuff on the spot. Fortunately, we were at a place in life where we could write a few 10k checks, but it was unnecessarily messy.”

    My mom made me joint tenant on one bank account to avoid that very situation. We could also afford to front the costs, but it’s a nice thought.

  25. Rhett — regarding the Chuck Yeager family drama, the Second Marriage Situation (as I sometimes describe it to clients) is not unusual: The typical scenario is that the widowed dad takes up with another woman, decides to leave everything to her, and becomes estranged from the children that he had with his first wife. I know that sounds sexist, but in my experience it’s rarer (though not unheard of) for a widowed mom to leave everything to her second (or third or whatever) husband, cutting out her kids.

  26. Rhett, I’m not a litigator but I don’t think a text would hold up in court as a will substitute. It may depend on the state though. The family would probably pay the GF something to make her go away though. When I started work, we had a case in the office with an illegitimate child who wasn’t included in the will. About a $500M estate and they paid her a few million (10?) to go away.

  27. “If Tony texted his GF, “Thanks for bailing me out the other day. Remember if I die you get everything.” That may be binding? But if there is a will then what’s in the will counts and what promises are made outside the will don’t.”

    Rhett — At least in MA, that is not a testamentary instrument, and will have no legal effect.

    In some other states, you can execute a “holographic” will, which is an instrument that you write in your own handwriting that states that it is a will (or at least that it is a document intending to dispose of your assets at your death). Holographic wills don’t need to be witnessed like “regular” wills do. Query, though, whether in a state that recognizes holographic wills, a text would count. My guess is no, since a text is not hand-written. (This whole thread is becoming like a law school exam!)

  28. As long as DS lives with me, I assume he’d want to stay in the same home in the event of my death, so there would be no need to dismantle it and sell everything off. He and I both consider a corpse to be waste to be disposed of, so I could look into places one could donate a body. We will have to rethink this in a few years, obviously.
    At the moment, I’m wondering more about his health than mine. He’s received a medical dx that the doc thinks could trigger (illegal, obviously) discrimination against him in getting a job or even a mortgage. That seems unlikely to me, but what do I know? The doc intentionally wrote treatment instructions in a way that doesn’t give away the dx; he suggests we not turn the MRI bills in for reimbursement from insurance, because then the secret’s out. Again, sounds loony to me, but what do I know?

  29. we had a case in the office with an illegitimate child who wasn’t included in the will. About a $500M estate and they paid her a few million (10?) to go away.
    That must be hard to watch! The money isn’t peanuts, but the you g person had just lost a parent and this is the treatment they got? Sickening.

  30. Rhett — At least in MA, that is not a testamentary instrument, and will have no legal effect.

    Is a contract to make a will a thing in MA? I guess in that case the GF would be a creditor of the estate. I guess the text would have to be, “I really need some place to crash. I promise if you let me stay with you I’ll leave you everything.” If she fulfilled her part of the contract then she’d sue the estate for breech.

  31. Ha—just saw NoB’s comment about a law school exam, written at the same time as my question about legal reprecussions of not revealing health info to insurance.

  32. “we had a case in the office with an illegitimate child who wasn’t included in the will. About a $500M estate and they paid her a few million (10?) to go away.”

    I could be so convinced. I’d get a nice place on the water, and a proper cruising yacht.

  33. (illegal, obviously)

    In Germany? I don’t know. In France you need a full medical eval before you can get a mortgage.

  34. I was surprised to learn that he was still alive until this year.

    I’m amazed at how many famous people’s deaths I hear about and my reaction is “I didn’t know they were still alive.”

  35. Rhett: you can’t contract to make a will — wills have special requirements, and they don’t let you circumvent those protections just by making a contract. Now, what he could say is “I really need a place to stay, if you let me stay with you, I’ll pay you $1M” — that’s a regular contract, and she could present that to support a claim on the estate in the amount of $1M.

  36. “We needed to come up with cash to fund all kinds of stuff on the spot. Fortunately, we were at a place in life where we could write a few 10k checks, but it was unnecessarily messy.”

    My mother had everything very well-planned before she died and we still had to come up with some chunks of cash that we didn’t have. Fortunately we were able to sell her car very quickly and that gave us $15k to work with until my brother got access to her accounts.

  37. My random complaint is how it is to find someone to fix a Bosch dishwasher. I finally got someone to come this Friday but it shouldn’t be this difficult. The bright side is it is still working so we don’t have to do dishes by hand, but it stops periodically during the cycles and you have to restart it. DS fell on the door while it was opened so it’s a little out of alignment. I could probably find a video to fix it myself but I don’t have the motivation.

  38. LFB,

    In Florida (1) No agreement to make a will, to give a devise, not to revoke a will, not to revoke a devise, not to make a will, or not to make a devise shall be binding or enforceable unless the agreement is in writing and signed by the agreeing party in the presence of two attesting witnesses.

    Prices appear to vary in AK and HI.

  39. I’m so rarely reading in real time – but since everyone’s talking about Tony Hsieh, you really need to read the article from the WSJ – I foresee a whole lot of lawsuits from hangers-on. It sounds like a really sad story at the end, kinda like he switched from a drive to create to a drive to party. I feel terrible for his family.

    The Death of Zappos’s Tony Hsieh: A Spiral of Alcohol, Drugs and Extreme Behavior
    The inspirational executive seemed to lose his way after giving up his corporate role, including a starvation diet and fascination with fire
    By Kirsten Grind, James R. Hagerty and Katherine Sayre
    Updated Dec. 6, 2020 10:26 pm ET

    About two weeks before Zappos.com Inc. co-founder Tony Hsieh died from injuries in a November house fire, one of his closest friends in Las Vegas got a phone call.

    “Tony is in trouble,” the caller told Philip Plastina, the founder of an electronic dance music group that frequently performed at Mr. Hsieh’s parties and live events over the past decade.

    Because of the pandemic, Mr. Plastina hadn’t seen Mr. Hsieh since the lauded tech executive relocated from Las Vegas to Park City, Utah, earlier this year. The caller asked Mr. Plastina to go to Park City right away in hopes he could help pull Mr. Hsieh out of what the caller described as escapist tendencies, including increasing drug and alcohol abuse.

    Mr. Plastina said he texted two phone numbers he had for Mr. Hsieh and sent several emails but received no response. Mr. Plastina never reached his friend.

    Mr. Hsieh, 46 years old, died on Nov. 27, nine days after firefighters were called to a home in New London, Conn., where he was staying. The Connecticut medical examiner has ruled the death an accident. The fire department is investigating the fire’s cause.

    Many questions remain about the specific circumstances of his death. Close friends now say it was the culmination of a more than six-month downward spiral. The entrepreneur brought online shoe-shopping to the masses as a co-founder of Zappos and wrote a bestselling book on company culture, “Delivering Happiness.” This year, he struggled, the friends say.

    In August, he retired as chief executive of Zappos, which he had run for more than a decade after selling it to Amazon.com Inc. for more than $1 billion.

    Tony Hsieh speaking at the convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners at Caesars Palace in March 2014
    Mr. Hsieh spoke often about partying as a central feature of his work and life, and his drinking increased after he retired and grappled with the isolation enforced by the pandemic, those close to him said. He began experimenting with drugs, such as mushrooms and ecstasy, they said.

    That was only one component of increasingly extreme behavior. A longstanding fascination with fire intensified, friends said. A real-estate agent who sold him a mansion in Park City and visited the house shortly afterward estimated Mr. Hsieh had 1,000 candles there.

    Mr. Hsieh became fixated on trying to figure out what his body could live without, according to one friend. He starved himself of food, whittling away to under 100 pounds; he tried not to urinate; and he deprived himself of oxygen, turning toward nitrous oxide, which can induce hypoxia, this person said.

    Mr. Hsieh was increasingly away from his longtime friends and family in San Francisco’s Bay Area and Las Vegas, and was surrounded by a new group that indulged his behavior, close friends said. According to them, the new group, including some former Zappos employees who had moved to Park City from Las Vegas, were taking advantage of Mr. Hsieh, living in his homes and collecting salaries for little work.

    Philip Plastina with Tony Hsieh.
    “Things were falling apart for him,” said Mr. Plastina.

    There were signs Mr. Hsieh knew he was in trouble. On the day before the fire, he was making plans to check into a rehabilitation clinic in Hawaii. He was in New London staying with a longtime girlfriend and former Zappos executive, Rachael Brown, along with one of his brothers, Andy Hsieh, and others, said people close to him.

    Mr. Hsieh at one point said he was going to a shed that was attached to the home, and asked the people in the house to check on him every five minutes, by the people’s account. They said Tony used a heater in the shed to lower the oxygen level.

    It isn’t clear what started the fire. When the others at the house tried to get to him, they couldn’t. One emergency worker was heard telling others he was barricaded inside. Mr. Hsieh died from complications of smoke inhalation, the coroner said.

    Over his 20 years as an executive, Mr. Hsieh carved out one of the most unusual and closely studied careers in business, in which he helped reshape customer service, tried to single-handedly revitalize parts of Las Vegas and challenged the role of hierarchies in corporations.

    Zappos employees relished Mr. Hsieh’s eagerness for them to express their individuality and carve out their own roles in a company with few bureaucratic boundaries.

    Mr. Hsieh was introverted but had a deep desire to bring people together, and invested time and money into his friends’ lives. One friend described him as “The Giving Tree,” referring to the story by Shel Silverstein in which a tree gives every part of itself to a boy she loves but gets nothing in return.

    Former President Bill Clinton and Tony Hsieh at the Clinton Global Initiative in June 2014.
    Mr. Hsieh blended his personal and professional lives into a quest for spiritual union with his colleagues, and sought to make both more about fulfilling personal dreams and novel sensations than piling up money, friends and former co-workers say. His approach to life earned him wealth and many admirers. It also contributed to his final, tragic months.

    Mr. Hsieh, born to Taiwanese parents who raised him in Marin County, Calif., sold the first company he founded, an internet advertising service called LinkExchange, to Microsoft Corp. for about $265 million when he was in his mid-20s.

    The next year he invested in what became Zappos, nursed it through the dot-com bust and became chief executive. Amazon.com Inc. bought Zappos in 2009 for more than $1 billion. Mr. Hsieh remained chief executive.

    In Las Vegas, where Mr. Hsieh moved Zappos headquarters, he became beloved locally for investing $350 million into revitalizing part of the city’s downtown, including restaurants, retail sites and a technology fund, starting in 2012.

    At Zappos, Mr. Hsieh didn’t believe in company hierarchy, assigning some employees titles like “fungineer.”

    When Mark Guadagnoli, currently a professor of neuroscience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, took a break from his academic career to work for a couple of years at Zappos, Mr. Hsieh gave him the title of “zookeeper.” He was charged with creating Zappos University, the company’s culture training center.

    Mr. Hsieh was annoyed when people referred to the area where he sat as “executive row,” recalled Dr. Guadagnoli, who remained friends with Mr. Hsieh.

    Dr. Guadagnoli said he began calling it Monkey Row, and Mr. Hsieh loved that idea. Mr. Hsieh arranged for camouflage netting to be put up and suspended stuffed monkeys and other creatures.

    “He was really interested in what made jokes funny,” Dr. Guadagnoli said. The professor once made an amusing remark and then smiled. “I think it would be funnier if you didn’t smile,” he recalled Mr. Hsieh responding.

    Tony Hsieh, standing center, at a festival in Las Vegas in 2015.
    For one New Year’s Eve party at his 3,500-square-foot loft in San Francisco, he rented a fog machine, which ended up setting off a fire alarm. He had to apologize when two firetrucks showed up.

    Alcohol-fueled parties were frequent at the company and at Mr. Hsieh’s homes, in San Francisco and later in Las Vegas and Park City.

    Mr. Hsieh wrote in “Delivering Happiness” that shots of Grey Goose vodka were a company tradition. He told Playboy magazine in 2014 he wrote the book in part fueled by coffee beans soaked in vodka. Friends say he went through a period in which he was obsessed with the Italian liqueur Fernet.

    “Ultimately happiness is really just about enjoying life,” he wrote in the 2010 book.

    Mr. Hsieh wrote that the Zappos culture was all about the pursuit of fun. “When you need to party, you party. When you need to produce, you produce,” he wrote.

    In a written statement, a Zappos spokeswoman said the company “is committed to providing a safe and fun workplace for all of our employees. As part of this, all employees are required to review our Code of Conduct, which includes guidance on team gatherings and company functions.”

    According to Dr. Guadagnoli, Mr. Hsieh ran experiments on himself—limiting his sleep to four hours a day and climbing the three highest peaks in Southern California in one day.

    He tried a 26-day diet, eating only foods that started with the letter “A” on the first day and progressing through the alphabet each day. Some letters offered indulgences. The final “Z” day amounted nearly to fasting, according to one friend, Paul Carr.

    In 1999, Mr. Hsieh discovered the joy of raves after going to one in a warehouse.

    “As someone who is usually known as being the most logical and rational person in a group, I was surprised to feel myself swept with an overwhelming sense of spirituality,” he wrote in his book. “It was as if the existence of individual consciousness had disappeared and been replaced by a single unifying group consciousness.”

    Mr. Hsieh was a frequent attendee at the Burning Man music festival in the Nevada desert, bringing art from the festival back to downtown Las Vegas. A 40-foot praying mantis that shoots fire is on display outside his “Container Park” development in Las Vegas, in which shops are located inside stacks of converted shipping containers.

    Downtown Container Park in Las Vegas
    At one annual event, Mr. Hsieh saw an electronic dance music performance group who called themselves the “Dancetronauts” perform. He fell in love with the group and insisted they become part of his plan to revitalize Las Vegas, said Mr. Plastina, the head of the group, who uprooted his life in California a decade ago to be part of Mr. Hsieh’s vision.

    Mr. Hsieh joined the Dancetronauts in his own astronaut jumpsuit, and the group became frequent performers at Las Vegas’s monthly “First Friday” arts festival. They also performed at Mr. Hsieh’s regular parties in his self-built community, a collection of trailers and tiny homes, including an Airstream that he lived in.

    The Airstream compound, as it was known to friends, also featured a fire pit and a stage. Mr. Hsieh let his pet alpaca, Marley, roam around.

    Mr. Hsieh bought friends houses, apartments and restaurants, say people who knew him. “He created greenhouses for people to be themselves and flourish,” said Jenn Lim, a longtime friend who helped Mr. Hsieh write his book and now heads a consulting and training firm that espouses his management philosophy.

    Earlier this year, Mr. Hsieh began buying properties far from Las Vegas, in the Utah resort town of Park City, with a similar mission of transforming its downtown, according to people familiar with his plans.

    The centerpiece was a 17,350-square-foot mansion with a private lake that he bought for about $16 million, said Paul Benson, a real-estate agent who represented the sellers.

    Tony Hsieh’s mansion in Park City.
    He also bought condos in the area for guests and quietly began investing in local businesses.

    When he visited the mansion, Mr. Hsieh wanted the house immediately and asked the family who owned it not to return home so he could begin living there right away, Mr. Benson said.

    The family agreed. Mr. Hsieh was constantly surrounded by other people, and the purchase appeared to Mr. Benson to be a group decision.

    “Tony was clearly the leader, but there was definitely a group of people that had said they were moving to Park City because of Tony, that had said he was extremely generous and a big part of their families, their worlds, and they were going to follow him to Park City,” Mr. Benson said.

    Mr. Benson said when he visited the house to help retrieve the sellers’ belongings and found the host of candles, Mr. Hsieh “explained to me that the candles were a symbol of what life was like in a simpler time.”

    Mr. Hsieh had offered to pay friends to move to Park City and work at businesses he helped fund or other city development jobs with vague descriptions; some collected salaries while doing little and living in his homes, and encouraged his drug and alcohol abuse, those close to him said.

    Mr. Hsieh hired luxury tour buses to ferry friends to the community. Musician David Perrico said he and members of his Pop Strings Orchestra rode one of those buses in August at the invitation of Ms. Brown, Mr. Hsieh’s girlfriend and a cellist in the band. Ms. Brown didn’t respond to requests for comment.

    In Las Vegas, Mr. Hsieh lived in a community of Airstream trailers.
    Mr. Perrico said he stayed in a condo and visited the mansion, jamming with other musicians, with the idea of possibly performing in a future venue in Mr. Hsieh’s developing vision for Park City, but saw Mr. Hsieh only once in passing.

    Mr. Hsieh was uncomfortable in one-on-one settings, friends said, and the pandemic closed off much of his social scene. His drug use increased, they said.

    In Las Vegas and at Zappos, Mr. Hsieh always had a strong group of friends who questioned his grandiose ideas and were able to stop him when his plans didn’t make sense. In Park City he was surrounded by people who only told him “yes,” one of his close friends said.

    After a therapist recommended a “digital detox” this spring, Mr. Hsieh began further distancing himself from some of his longtime friends, who had trouble reaching him. When one FaceTimed him in early July, “he did not look well,” the friend said.

    By August, his father, brother Andy and a half dozen friends were planning an intervention to organize professional help for him, according to people familiar with the efforts.

    That same month, Mr. Hsieh’s retirement from Zappos exacerbated his downward spiral, friends say. Some such as Mr. Plastina said they tried unsuccessfully to reach him in his last weeks.

    On Nov. 18, firefighters rushed to a burning three-story beachfront home in New London at 3:34 a.m. An emergency worker said one man was “stuck inside,” according to a radio recording of first responders. Some firefighters and dispatchers referred to the victim as “trapped.”

    One gave a different description. “The male is barricaded inside,” that person said over the radio.“He’s not answering the door. Everyone else is outside the house. They are trying to get him to open up.”

    What is Tony Hsieh’s legacy? Join the conversation below.

    Mr. Hsieh’s estate is likely worth hundreds of millions of dollars. In a court filing, family members have said it appears Mr. Hsieh died without an estate plan. On Thursday, a judge in Las Vegas appointed Mr. Hsieh’s father, Richard, and brother Andrew as special administrators and legal representatives of the estate, finding that Mr. Hsieh’s personal and business affairs “require immediate attention to prevent loss to the estate.”

    In a written statement, the Hsieh family said they wouldn’t comment on the specifics of Mr. Hsieh’s life and career. They said they were “deeply grateful for the outpouring of love and respect shown in the wake of Tony’s passing. It is clear to us he had a profound impact on countless people all over the world.”

    The family said they planned to “carry on his legacy by spreading the tenets he lived by—finding joy through meaningful life experiences, inspiring and helping others, and most of all, delivering happiness.”

    A tribute to Tony Hsieh in Las Vegas, whose downtown he helped revitalize.
    —Kate King and Jim Oberman contributed to this article.

    Write to Kirsten Grind at kirsten.grind@wsj.com, James R. Hagerty at bob.hagerty@wsj.com and Katherine Sayre at katherine.sayre@wsj.com

    Corrections & Amplifications
    On the day before the fire from which he died, former Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh was making plans to check into a rehabilitation clinic in Hawaii. An earlier version of this article incorrectly said he was making these plans on the night he died. (Corrected on Dec. 6)

    Copyright ©2020 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 87990cbe856818d5eddac44c7b1cdeb8
    Appeared in the December 7, 2020, print edition as ‘Before Zappos Ex-CEO Died: A Spiral of Alcohol and Drugs.’

    Customer CenterSubscriber AgreementPrivacy NoticeCookie Notice© 2020 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

  40. Rio,

    On the other hand NoB and L have said some heirs fight just as hard over mom’s worthless Hummel collection as the Wassersteins are fighting over a100 million dollar Hamptons estate.

  41. Rhett, thank you! I did not know that. Wonder if there is a similar requirement in Germany (which would completely explain his concern). Do US mortgages have any such health requirements, aside from financial “health”?
    Also, what possible consequences could there be from not including a condition on insurance, provided one does not let coverage lapse from one policy to the next?

  42. When we applied for our mortgage, the lender only looked into financial health – income, assets, credit reports, etc. But, here in the US your lender will toss you out on your ear for not paying timely fairly quickly. I wonder if European countries have laws related to evicting people that make knowing their health status important. Anyone know?

    Our doctor dx DD#2 with breathing issues, but never checked the asthma box. DD#2 has outgrown it, which the doctor said was common especially because DD#2 was a bit early and the lungs are not as fully developed. This was all pre-ACA when a specific asthma dx would have created a pre-existing condition and many health expenses would not have been covered once she had to move off of my insurance policy.

    To SM question – I think if the doctor gave a specific dx and it is in your son’s medical records, hiding it might create more issues down the line. Just because you don’t ask for payment doesn’t mean those results just go away, but it can delay things a bit. I am assuming it is not something you can “recover” from where an MRI in a year or so would not show the same result. If an insurance company or whomever contacts the doctor or facility where the MRIs were done, they will need to provide them. If the doctor gave a more vague dx in the medical records, but the MRI results are very clear, it could get them in trouble with the licensing board.

  43. Also, what possible consequences could there be from not including a condition on insurance, provided one does not let coverage lapse from one policy to the next?

    They won’t pay the claim.

    Wonder if there is a similar requirement in Germany (which would completely explain his concern).

    Nothing I could find in a quick googling. But you should make sure not to assume that because something is illegal (especially something related to discrimination) in the US that it’s also illegal in Germany. As just a random example you have to submit a picture with a resume (CV) in Germany. That would never be done in the US due to laws against age discrimination, disability, racial discrimination, etc.

    As another example:

    April 6, 2020:

    Berlin became the first German state to pass its own anti-discrimination law on Thursday, with a majority of state lawmakers approving the law.

    The law explicitly bars public authorities — including police and public schools — from discriminating based on background, skin color, gender, religion, physical or mental disability, worldview, age and sexual identity.

    The Federal Anti-Discrimination law passed in 2006 only protected against discrimination in private employment.

  44. S&M — I’m not an insurance expert by any means, but I believe that if you apply for a life, disability, or long-term care insurance policy that requires medical underwriting, and you do not disclose a medical condition on the application that you knew about at the time of applying, the company can cancel your policy if they find out about the condition that you hid. Personally, I didn’t do the medical part of 23 and Me until I was certain that I had purchased all the life, disability, and long-term care insurance that I was ever going to get for the rest of my life. I have advised my kids not to do any of the genetic tests that give you medical information, for fear that the results might mess up their ability to qualify for insurance as they move into adulthood.

    I believe that for health insurance (as opposed to life insurance, disability insurance, etc.), the rules are different, at least for now (i.e. you can’t be discriminated against based on pre-existing conditions or based on genetic tests that show you have an increased risk of a disease), but of course those rules are subject to change.

  45. I wouldn’t assume that it’s illegal not to discriminate (as understood in the U.S.). The laws are different in different countries. For renters for example, in places where it is difficult to evict people, landlords get very picky on who they choose to rent to, which would amount to discrimination if it were the U.S.

  46. “Our doctor dx DD#2 with breathing issues, but never checked the asthma box. DD#2 has outgrown it”

    Both my kids had asthma when young but have apparently outgrown it, albeit with medical intervention during preschool years. I think we still have their nebulizer and accessories in a closet somewhere.

    We used to park them in front of the TV and put a Singalong Songs tape in the VCR while the nebulizer ran. We used the songs to distract the kids as well as a timer. I think there are some songs that DS will always have ingrained into his brain.

  47. Finn – We had a similar treatment plan. My DD#2 watched Rachel Ray while on the nebulizer every evening. Her mask was a dragon face, so it looked like smoke came out of its nostrils. So she called it her smoke. Before about age 3, if she felt tightness in her chest she’d come up to an adult and say “Smoke, Persons Name”. We got some strange looks.

  48. Austin, NoB and Rhett, thank you! The differences in laws and uncertainty about where DS will decide to live, and even in what country he will go to college, is all part of the “fun”. I have two sets of laws to research, and not much idea how to do that for the US. The point about policy cancellation certainly got my attention. I’m planning to speak with consumer protection agencies here, will ask that question along with the one about mortgages. I haven’t figured out yet what to do about US laws. Any ideas on researching US laws or other questions/angles I need to think about this from?

    Rhett, yes, when that law passed earlier this year, police unions from other states said they would refuse to answer the calls when Berlin asked for assistance as it often does, for example during demonstrations. I don’t know how that turned out.

  49. Austin, that’s cute! My son’s nebulizer mask when he was 2 looked like a fish. The first time we did a nebulizer, I was suggesting all the different things it might smell like. A nurse passing by heard me and stopped, surprised. She said she didn’t realize it smelled like blueberries! I didn’t know how to explain to her that it actually didn’t without breaking the spell with him. And today I’ve learned that he apparently has more than one long term health issue to be worried about (beyond the health concerns).

  50. I’m sorry about the diagnosis, SM. You mentioned before that he had some back issues, too. He’s having a rough year, physically!

  51. “My son’s nebulizer mask when he was 2 looked like a fish.”

    So was mine. But the dragon would’ve been so much cooler.

  52. DS2 had a nebulizer when he was a newborn. We just got rid of it this year (he is now 17).

  53. Houston, knock on wood that neither yours nor mine needs the neb again! Mine has done quite a few inhalors (steroids) this year though.

    HFN, the earlier back issue was that he has scoliosis, with a twist in his spine. Then we found out that one leg is longer than the other, so he got orthotic insoles. The back pain continued despite PT, so we got the MRI. He has two herniated/slipped disks. Apparently 40% of middle aged men have them, even though most are not aware. We hope his pain will go away itself. The doc does not advise surgery, as many people still have pain after it.

    Makes the kid sound like a mess, but I don’t think any of this is apparent looking at him—and the meds for his acne have helped considerably, so he looks great!

  54. When I was at about the same stage in life, a doctor discovered that one of my legs is longer than the other. But it didn’t seem to cause any problems, so I’ve never used orthotics or anything like that to compensate.

    I do notice that when I carry a backpack on one shoulder, my tendency is to put in on the shoulder on the same side as the short leg. I think that shoulder is naturally a little higher because of the leg length discrepancy.

  55. In years past, it often seemed that the asthma got worse after growth spurts, like his lungs just couldn’t put on lining fast enough to keep up with the rest of him. Maybe the spinal issues are related—there’s just a whole lot more of him hanging on those vertebrae. It’d be great if he’d catch up to himself and stop hurting. Apparently, strengthening his back is key to his up issues there. He still has a pretty slight build, much less than his father, who was slim but naturally had enough muscle to wear size L shirts at 5’10”, so he still may fill out quite a bit. I hope that will help.

  56. Finn, interesting. He also had the impression thst the short side was the longer one. Logically, if the leg is shorter, you lean a little to that side, so the shoulder slopes down. There must be something in the way people compensate that makes it seem the other way around.

  57. “Apparently, strengthening his back is key to his up issues there.”

    I suggest working on his abs and core also.

    I had a some issues back then, and an uncle who was into alternative medicine offered to help me. He taught me to crack my back and had me do some stretching exercises that he said helps align my hips. He also told me to work my abs regularly, because strong abs help keep the hips and spine aligned and reduce the load on back muscles. I was a bit skeptical, but didn’t see that it would harm anything, and cracking my back felt good, so I followed his instructions, and my back issues subsided to the point of only being occasional, typically associated with periods when I didn’t maintain ab work.

  58. Can people please not post entire long articles in the threads? It is very cumbersome to have to scroll past them, especially on a phone.

  59. SM, if one leg is shorter, that makes the hips tilt. If the body above the hips is perpendicular to the hips, then it’s like the leaning tower of Pisa, and puts more weight on the short leg.

    I imagine my spine as viewed from the back is a slight C, which tilts my shoulders opposite to the tilt of my hips.

  60. Finn, thanks for your 5:07. He is strengthening his core all the way around—abs, obliques, etc. If you have any more to add, please reach out to me at hotmail

  61. I think the only reason the whole article is posted is because it is behind a paywall for most people. I do understand it being problematic on a phone.

  62. The Wasserstein stuff is fascinating. I have a couple fo friends that worked for him and there were a lot of loose ends in the office too. He was married so many times and he was married to the wife of Elaine Chao when he died. Elaine is of course the wife of Mitch McConnell and the Secretary of Transportation.

    It is sad and interesting that Wendy Wasserstein also died at a young age from cancer. I saw many of her plays on Broadway and it was sad when she passed away because she was so talented.

  63. Thanks Finn. Getting a bit detailed about his body mechanics at this point, but I’d love to hear your advice on a back channel.

    My $.02 on full-length articles that are otherwise paywalled: the whole thing is better than a link+nothing else, but a detailed summary that is considerably shorter than the article can be even better.

  64. “He was married so many times and he was married to the wife of Elaine Chao when he died. Elaine is of course the wife of Mitch McConnell and the Secretary of Transportation.”

    I’m guessing there’s a typo in here somewhere, but this sounds like Elaine Chao had both a wife and a husband, and her wife also had both a wife and a husband.

    I guess that makes Elaine Chao and her wife both bigamists?

  65. “Can people please not post entire long articles in the threads?”

    That’s usually the only way I can read something from the NYT.

  66. do you have google? It might be faster for you to look up Elaine Chao. what time is it there? DO you ever sleep?

  67. I understand the issue with wanting to share articles that are behind paywalls, but you only need to post a few paragraphs to make the point.

  68. It would be nice if the anon that is bothered by the long articles would share with a name since this person seems to take the time to post and complain multiple times. I sometimes cut and paste articles from the WSJ because of the paywall. It is time consuming and a hassle for me, but I do it to make it easier for people to read the articles.

  69. I really love the wsj articles – thank you to those people who post them. I’ve let my subscription lapse.

    On my phone, I use the “recent comment” list to click into the text, so it takes me to the bottom of the page. Then my finger scrolling muscles don’t get too tired.

  70. Bklurker -welcome and please post more often.

    I agree that on that article the detail was the point. He was experimenting with some quirky ideas well before the end. His self-deprivation experiments remind me of Steve Jobs weird all fruit diet.

  71. Rhett, this jumped out at me:

    “it retains more than 80 percent of its capacity after 800 charging cycles”

    800 cycles, that’s daily use for a little more than 2 years.

    So if degradation plateaus after that, OK, you design based on 80% of initial capacity. But if degradation continues, e.g., linearly, then they’ll need to be cheap and easy to replace.

  72. WCE (or anyone else): Was The Glass Castle a book club book on TOS? I remember people discussing a book in which at one point the mom ate chocolate and it upset everyone. I didn’t read the book, but wanted to. Does this ring a bell with anyone or am I just misremembering?

  73. DS was saying things to us in German yesterday. It’s a language choice that suits him. He has been happy taking it, many of his friends who have different schedules see him in German class. The teacher is very enthusiastic and the German club is quite active. I was wondering about the whole German business but it’s been good.

  74. On my phone, I use the “recent comment” list to click into the text, so it takes me to the bottom of the page. Then my finger scrolling muscles don’t get too tired.

    But then to post you have to go all the way back to the top.

  75. I never use my phone to look at this list. But then, I don’t use my phone for a lot of things because I find it too small to look at comfortably, and I hate typing on it. I mostly use it for brief text messages, and even with those, I use the Google voice dictation thing so I don’t have to type.

  76. “I was wondering about the whole German business but it’s been good.”

    I took three years of German in high school and loved it. DD thinks she’s going to choose German over Spanish in high school (those are the only two foreign-language choices in our district) because our HS has a well-established exchange program with a HS in Germany, and DD loves the idea of spending a few weeks in Europe without Mom and Dad! Hopefully by the time she’s old enough to qualify for the exchange program people will actually be able to travel again.

  77. And in other news, I just got a call from the local hospital. Apparently they saw something potentially worrying on the mammogram that I had last week, and they now want me to go in for an ultrasound so they can take a closer look. 2020 just continues to pile crap upon crap. :(

  78. Based on just one anonymous commenter I think overall the advantages of posting entire articles are greater than the disadvantages. The issue is I don’t know of any other way to share details. Of course anyone else is free to sound in. I find reading on my phone to be overall harder than on my laptop, but I’m sure it varies depending on your phone. If I want to comment when using my phone, I can click right on the post and the comment box appears right below.

    I remember the Glass Castle being in the TOS book club. I read it after and really enjoyed it, but I don’t remember Yeager in it. I hate that I forget so many things.

    My D when I asked if she knew who Yeager was: “Was the Jager bomb drink was named after him?”

  79. NoB — I’m sorry you got that news. I hope it is nothing serious, but if you’re like me the worry is bad enough. Hugs

  80. Another vote for full articles, as it is the only way I can read NYT articles.

    Agree that the article on Tony Hsieh was detail-laden and would have been hard to excerpt.

    If I post a WSJ article, I will edit where possible.

  81. Ugh, NoB. I have known several people who have been called in for followup after suspicious results on a mammogram, and in all those cases, it turned out to be nothing so hopefully that will be the case for you. I know it is hard not to worry – I am a worrywart myself.

  82. IANAL, but isn’t posting entire articles from behind a paywall a gross violation of that site’s terms of service? Obviously the internet police aren’t going to come knocking on our door, but something to think about.

    If I want to comment when using my phone, I can click right on the post and the comment box appears right below.

    What phone/browser do you use? I use android and the comment box only appears at the top of threads. Clicking on a post doesn’t do anything.

  83. NoB: I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. From what I understand, it’s common — I’ve had it happen, too — but definitely scary when it’s you. Hugs.

    “My D when I asked if she knew who Yeager was: ‘Was the Jager bomb drink was named after him?’”


  84. “What phone/browser do you use? I use android and the comment box only appears at the top of threads. Clicking on a post doesn’t do anything.”

    Chrome with my iPhone

  85. 800 cycles, that’s daily use for a little more than 2 years.

    Wouldn’t that be full to empty? A car with a 300 mile range would typically only go 40 miles a day.

  86. NoB – I got that same phone call last year. I had to do the sonogram and then a higher level mammogram when the first additional diagnostic tool didn’t settle everything (or perhaps it was another version of mammogram and then a sonogram). I share that only because I was getting pretty anxious when the second round seemed to be concerning enough to cause a third round. And I hadn’t been doing annual visits…so I was beating myself up. The good news for me was just that it turned out to be nothing, and I will send only positive thoughts for you too. The anxiety stayed with me…..even though I canceled my mammogram earlier this year due to covid, I rescheduled and went because I don’t want to feel like I’m an idiot for not doing basic preventative care again.

  87. Update on DD’s study abroad planning (I know, I know, you’ve been holding your breath): DD on her own appears to have come around to favoring the S. American option that I was originally recommending. She had agreed to apply to keep her options open, and they set up an interview with the professor who runs the trip, and he apparently did a really good job of selling it, because she came out of that meeting totally hyped.* But I think the real kicker is math: she needs to take a particular math class for her engineering major, and the only person teaching that in the spring is the professor who is teaching her current calculus class, and she is just livid with him on a weekly basis (he is extremely disorganized, which triggers her anxiety, because she likes to know what is needed when so she can plan ahead; he ran so late that they had to squeeze the last four topics into the last two weeks of class — including final homework due today, in the middle of exams week, when they’re not supposed to have class or homework). So I suspect the combination of liking the professor leading the S. American trip and hating the professor she’d have to take next semester if she did something else has pushed her over the edge. ;-)

    The other option was/is S. Korea, which is also fascinating. But it is not a college-run trip. That’s a feature, not a bug, as it comes with living in the dorms and having the more “real” experience. But it means she needs to get approval for any classes to count for credit towards her major/minor. Meanwhile, she knows she couldn’t get this one math class there, because it is a specially-designed WF combination of two classes for engineering majors. She could take the two classes separately instead of the one combo class, but she doesn’t even know if the S. Korea university would offer either of the two classes in English, and it would also mean summer school to fit everything in. IOW: she’s finally realized the logistical difficulties that led me to recommend the S. American option in the first place. ;-)

    Now let’s just hope that she actually gets to go *somewhere*. . . .

    *She was excited because the trip will have a political science bent, which she knows nothing about, and the math class is going to focus on real-world applications like game theory, which she finds really interesting. Meanwhile, they also mentioned that she’d be only one class away from a Latin American Studies minor, so now she’s excited about the prospect of THREE minors. This child. . . .

  88. Sorry North of Boston. I get called back every time. And then get in to a loop of having mammograms and ultrasounds every 6 months for 2 years. Repeat. I have dense tissue (common), which makes it much more difficult to read the mammograms. The good news is that the radiologist will likely give you the results immediately since it is a diagnostic appointment instead of screening. You can ask for your BIRADS number to get a sense as to how concerning the finding is. Mine are always a 3, hence the loop of mammograms/ultrasounds every 6 months. I hope everything is ok. Even though I have been through it repeatedly, I still get nervous.

  89. isn’t posting entire articles from behind a paywall a gross violation of that site’s terms of service?

    Yes. But I generally ask if the news source will lose any revenue from it. I don’t believe that anyone was going to go out and subscribe based on lack of access to a specific article. Another consideration is whether the poster is making any money off it. On this blog, no one is making a penny from reprinting the material. Those are a few of the considerations that go into fair use generally.

  90. Thanks for the good wishes and also for the insights from those of you who have been down this road before. Waiting for tests or test results is always hard. The hospital was able to schedule me for tomorrow, though, so at least I don’t have to wait long.

    Reality — I’ve been told that I have dense tissue as well. Since I started getting annual mammograms 13 years ago (at age 40), I always get a form letter afterwards from the hospital saying that due to the dense tissue, I should think about getting mammograms every six months instead of every year. I asked my PCP about this, and she said that given my overall health and risk profile, she thought every year was fine. I got the sense that she thought the mammography department of the hospital was engaging in some fear-mongering with these letters in an effort to drum up more business.

  91. NOB, I’ve been called back after mammograms too. It is nerve wracking but, so far, so good. I have a combination of dense tissue and a couple bouts with mastitis. The scar tissue is apparently perpetually alarming.

    Good wishes to you

  92. I got the sense that she thought the mammography department of the hospital was engaging in some fear-mongering with these letters in an effort to drum up more business.

    There have been a number of studies showing that from a pure cost/benefit perspective, frequent mammograms are doing more harm than good because of the number of “concerning results” they show that are actually benign. Of course there is no way to put an actual dollar amount on the value to the woman who has a malignancy found early.

  93. @NOB – I agree with the others. I have personally had this happen along with close friends. No one has had it turn into anything, so the odds are with you. It’s just so nerve wracking.

    @RMS – Well in your calculus, I will say that I ended up re-subscribing to the WSJ earlier this year because I was interested in some of the articles here. So – upped their revenue. I had missed reading it, and being home – I didn’t have access to the paper copy anymore that I would sometimes read at work.

    @BKlurker – I hope you don’t let the complaint keep you from posting more. I agree that the detail in the article was the point (and who has time to write a synopsis that is the perfect length for an article?).

  94. I’m starting to wonder if there are any women on here who *havent* been called back for extra boob-squishing. I have also had to go back. NoB, I hope yours is just as uneventful as everyone else’s but glad you’re taking the precautions and getting the screening.

    I know who Yeager is (sort of, as much as I know who any of those guys are) but still would not have known if the drink was named after him.

  95. Good luck NoB!

    I haven’t started getting mammograms yet. I probably would have done this year (I am 42) but then the pandemic hit.

  96. I have not been called back because I discussed the scar-tissue-from-mastitis/cost/risk/benefit-from-slightly-earlier-detection with my much-adored perinatologist-married-to-gynecologic ongologist at 32 and decided against mammograms until at least age 50 and maybe forever.

    Given my general attitude toward cost-risk-benefit analyses, probably no one is surprised.

  97. WCE, I only did one before 50. And in hindsight it was fine. Just temporarily felt like a poor risk assessment for about 24 hours last year.

  98. I have no issues with mammograms. Since they never change, I go every other year when they nag me. In my 70s, I plan two or three times. and only one colonoscopy. I already stopped the bone density scans. Mine are 3 std deviations heavy. No routine screening tests planned after 80.

  99. Good luck NoB!

    And I agree with others – I appreciate it when people post the full article if it’s behind a paywall.

    I learned of Chuck Yeager from the movie The Right Stuff. Sam Shepherd – oh my. I can’t imagine either of my kids has a clue who he is.

  100. I love Sam Shepard! He died of ALS, but he was so talented. The only reason my DD might know him (but not his name) is because she watched Baby Boom.

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