Most Pretentious NYT Wedding Announcement Yet?

by L

A Rejected ‘Bachelorette’ Contestant Finds Love

And the takedown:

This Preppy New York Times Marriage Announcement Is So Incredibly Pretentious


105 thoughts on “Most Pretentious NYT Wedding Announcement Yet?

  1. Great one last week:

    Theresa Marie Roosevelt…great-granddaughter of Franklin D. Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt…of Brown, master’s in history of international relations from the London School of Economics, a law degree from Georgetown… The bride, 33, who goes by Tracy, will keep her surname(obviously). She is an associate at the Boston law firm Foley Hoag..Her father retired as the chief executive of the Tufts Health Plan

    The groom is a part-time social worker…His mother retired as a cashier clerk..His father was a customer-service assistant at a supermarket

  2. Is the woman at the top of the takedown article in her wedding dress? I just know that if I grabbed my wife’s ass like that in public, especially that day, I’d have some hell to pay!

  3. Rhett – but it’s ok because he’s getting an MBA at Boston College.

    I am rolling after reading the take down. I haven’t laughed this hard since the Haters’ Guide to the Williams-Sonoma catalog.

    “Please propose on Christmas while wearing a cowl neck sweater.” :)

  4. Oh, I don’t know. I thought the take down was lame. “You’re white and you’re rich” said over and over again doesn’t make it witty.

  5. That’s a lot of time off. I thought Wall St. jobs were supposed to be all nose-to-the-grindstone for 80 hours a week.

    My ultimate reaction is a sense that I could never be comfortable hanging out with them.

  6. “I wondered if Ames and I would climb mountains together again or if living an ocean apart would end a beautiful story,” Did Nicolas Sparks write this?

    Also love that the bride is so down to earth she didn’t get a traditional wedding dress just a D&G dress that probably cost just as much.

  7. Pretty much agree with Mafalda. They’ve done much more impressive takedowns. This one just seemed mean-spirited.

    The Trapp one was hysterical, because they were taking down the pretentiousness and preciousness in the way the kids presented themselves. This was was more like “how dare your daddy have so much money you can fly to Italy on a whim and spend a month in Nepal.”

  8. Here’s a conundrum for everyone.. Roosevelt is it Rosevelt or Roo(as in kangaroo)sevelt? We say Franklin Rosevelt but Roosevelt Island at our house. What’s the right way?

  9. Wow, is the author of that second piece bitter!! Needs to read this paragraph from his own piece a few hundred times:

    You know what happens when a bunch of east coast WASPs mate with each other for generations? You breed miniature Einsteins who have all the disposable income in the world. Pretending that this isn’t the case isn’t just ignorant, it’s downright irresponsible.

    This couple is doing what comes naturally. No call for anger.

  10. My favorite column in the Sunday Times. The only depressing thing that is just starting to happen is that I’m old enough to sometimes know the parents of the bride and groom instead of the bride/groom. The wedding we went to in August was in the NYT, and I wish I could share the photos because we could have a field day with this couple and their parents.

    I was surprised about the month long honeymoon too until I saw a photo on Instagram today from the bride of the wedding that we attended four weeks ago. They’ve been to three continents, and assume that they have to come back this week for work. One friend actually commented that their honeymoon is longer than some marriages.

  11. I didn’t read the actual announcement, but the take down doesn’t mention that he was also a contestant on The Bachelor Pad. (Please don’t ask how I know that).

  12. This quote “You know this dude is rich because he has enough room in his Williamsburg apartment for a fucking river raft to hang. ” reminds how I used to judge lofts in NYC by their size when I was living in Manhattan. That was in the 90’s. I went out to a party in a loft in Williamsburg one night (and Williamsburg had already been discovered by artists in the 90’s), and was totally impressed – the artist who threw the party not only was able to attract some minor Warhol associates to her party, but her loft was big enough to park a pickup truck. I was awestruck

  13. There is a last name in our family that is very similar to Ames, and when I was pregnant with my first, several very pretentious relatives were pressuring me to use that as the first name. No way! A name like that is even more pretentious when you are clearly NOT of the preppie class.

  14. So he has pretentious parents

    pre·ten·tious: attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.

    That doesn’t really seem to apply as they actually are who they claim to be.

  15. I don’t mind the name, I mind the “One part of our relationship is this idea that there is beauty in unexpected places,” she said. “Really special things don’t have to happen on top of mountains. They can happen in a pharmacy.”

  16. Actually I am just jealous of all the adventures they have been having! That pesky thing called money and the other pesky thing called job always gets in the way! Hopefully we will spend a couple weeks in Asia this winter!

  17. They do remind me of the Chris Rock quote: ““If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.”

  18. “So he has pretentious parents”

    “And should be bashed for what his parents are?”

    At an editors’ banquet held in 1856, Abraham Lincoln—not being a journalist—felt rather alienated. Addressing his audience, he compared himself to the ugly horseman. This fellow, while riding one day, happened upon a woman who curtly remarked, “Well, for land sake, you are the homeliest man I ever saw.”

    “Yes, madam, but I can’t help it,” he responded.

    “No, I suppose not,” she allowed, “but you might stay at home.”

    I think what’s pretentious about them — and this applies to just about anyone with the drawn out wedding “announcements” in the NYT section — is the belief that their story is in any way remarkable save for their inherited wealth and the educational pedigree that it buys. If you’re vying to get yourself on reality TV, and later pushing for your romantic epilogue to that experience to appear in the NYT, then you’re fair game for criticism and snickering, just the same as if you want your humdrum lives recorded and broadcast on a TLC reality show.

  19. Also, what I imagine rubs at a lot of people, is their total lack of self-deprecation, with one horrible exception. Calling yourself “nerdy” is not self-deprecating. It’s one of the ultimate humblebrags these days.

  20. “Really special things don’t have to happen on top of mountains. They can happen in a pharmacy.”

    You know what else happens at the pharmacy? People pick up their prescription suppositories. No worries, there will be time enough for that!

  21. I have to say, the idea that you could name a kid in a way that confirms or denies your enrollment in the “preppie class” boggle my mind. That is such an East Coast thing – there is no such thing as a preppie class in the mid or real west. I went to high school with the richest and most politically connected kids in the state (because it wasn’t a big state and there were no competitive private schools). Their names were much like ours – some trendy, some family, etc. If my kids were going to that high school today, I imagine they would blend right in with the senators’ kids.

  22. Having seen this guy on the show(s), I think the take down was mild. He was a major douche.

    Count me in for wondering how he gets all that time off. Must have a ghost patroller job.

  23. The article, the takedown, the comments here (especially Moxie) all made me laugh. Thank you.

  24. Ada, are you kidding? Kentucky has always had preppies. Traditionally, they owned horse farms, but those are going away. And buyers in the 80’s used to use the term “North Carolina prep” to refer to a particular style of clothing.

  25. I like reading through the NYTimes announcements. They try (too) hard to include all different ages, stages of love and marriage – I find that endearing in a way.
    I liked the descriptions of the various trips that the couple took. On a smaller budget DH and myself took nice trips pre kids. It was a lot of fun to travel at that stage of life. If you are lucky to have the looks, brains and money, make the most of it I say.

  26. Milo, you agree with the woman in that story? I take it to be about how stupid it is to ask people to pretend not to be, or to hide, what they actually are. You’re ugly? Bfd, go out and live your life!

    “Nerdy” is a humblebrag, but in the case of someone who got an engineering degree by age 20, it’s probably also true.

    I’m not saying these are fantastic people. I have no idea, knowing nothing about them beyond these posts, but complaining about who they are doesn’t make any sense.

    Ew, you’re short!
    Well you have brown hair!
    At least I didn’t grow up in an apartment!
    At least I didn’t grow up in a mansion!


  27. I have to say, the idea that you could name a kid in a way that confirms or denies your enrollment in the “preppie class” boggle my mind.

    I miss the old southern senator names: Strom, Estes, Howell, at least we still have Lindsey.

  28. “On the overseas travel–they might pay beaucoup bucks for it, or might do it more like this woman”:

    I don’t own any fancy electronics. When I lived in Hong Kong and owned a TV, I only had basic cable. I am the queen of the pay as you go phone, and use Skype to call friends and family abroad: I can call a land line in Canada or the States for as little as $0.02 a minute. I spend a lot of money on clothes and am a bit of a clotheshorse, but tend to shop at affordable places like H&M. I don’t mind spending, say, $400 on a leather jacket, because it is a classic, good quality piece that will last me for a long time. The same goes for shoes. I spend more on footwear, but they are comfortable, timeless, and last long. I eat out quite a bit, but cut corners here and there by skipping appetizers and dessert and ordering tap water.

    Yeah, saac, I’m going to guess Option A.

  29. The truly wealthy horse farm people often sent their kids to boarding school out of state. But TLS and Sayre had their share of the wealthy, plus the political class.

  30. I thought it comical they said he was so good looking in the NYT , compared him to Ken

    doesn’t look like a great catch to me (besides the $)

  31. can I complain here a moment?

    my right hand person (who replaced me when I was promoted 2 years ago) has resigned

    now I have to hire and train someone new, sad face

  32. “doesn’t look like a great catch to me (besides the $)”

    I dunno. I wish I looked half as good as that (plus the $).

    I’ve said this before, but that’s why I don’t get pushing for the NYT publicity. He’s already won.

  33. “I think what’s pretentious about them — and this applies to just about anyone with the drawn out wedding “announcements” in the NYT section — is the belief that their story is in any way remarkable save for their inherited wealth and the educational pedigree that it buys.”

    So to play devil’s advocate, isn’t that true of anyone on social media? It’s certainly why I’m not on Twitter and only recently joined FB — it seemed rather egotistical to think that anyone else would care about my “mood” or “status” or minutiae of everyday life.

    The announcement on its own didn’t set me off the way it seems to have set of most people; the takedown felt like criticizing them for being rich. E.g., the dress: she didn’t brag about how much her dress cost, nor did she present it as a thrifty choice, or in fact as any kind of moral choice — she just didn’t want a typical wedding dress (can’t blame her), so she picked one she liked (and that looked great on her) and that she clearly could afford. And we’re all like “OMG IT COST $11K.” I thnik that says more about us than her.

    You want more self-awareness or self-deprecation, I guess they could throw in “we’re so fortunate to have these opportunities,” but that gets very self-conscious and precious very quickly. And I don’t think that would actually defuse the criticism. It’s like reading the MMM takedown of the Bentley guy, where the fundamental underpinning is just sheer moral disdain at that amount of money.

    OTOH, the publicity-seeking (two shows) and major doucheness Ivy noted would seem to support your theory in this case.

  34. “That quote is hysterical, yet very totebaggy.”

    Yes, well, any time someone recounts owning a TV in the preterite, you know you’re in for a treat.

  35. Yes, well, any time someone recounts owning a TV in the preterite, you know you’re in for a treat.

    You really need to do more with your comedy writing. I think there is a lot of untapped talent there.

  36. “isn’t that true of anyone on social media?”

    Yes, but to varying degrees. And it depends what you post.

  37. Don’t we all want our kids to go to good colleges, get graduate degrees, go into careers that pay a decent wage, get married to a spouse with a good education, and travel the world? I think the extent to which the guy has succeeded is what we’re offended by. I feel the same way–it all seems “too much”.

  38. “Lucy and Keenon chose a palette of blush and ivory which was brought to life by Suzi Hjorth of Magnolia Floral Designs.”

    I love the implication that Keenon was allowed within 1,000 feet of this decision.

  39. I think the extent to which the guy has succeeded is what we’re offended by.

    I’m certainly not offended by it. I think it’s fantastic.

  40. Both of them are kinda average looking. Her especially so. I guess it is easy to be that interesting if you have rich parents. Nonetheless, they do have impeccable educational pedigree.

  41. topic change: this really belonged in Transitions, but I had no chance to post that day.

    My DS2 is starting high school. I think he is looking forward to it – it is not a scary transition because DS1 is already there, and also, this being a micro district, the HS is attached to the MS.

    One of the things he is really, really, really happy about is that he is now free of the middle school teams. They divide all the middle schoolers into two teams, where they are stuck for their entire middle school career. Somehow, the team that DS2 was placed in had NONE of his friends. DS2 never had many friends and is bit out of place socially. In elementary school he had a few close friends, and he really cared about them. In particular, he was close with one girl, who is from Myanmmar and thus doesn’t fit into any of the dominant cultures in town. Starting in kindergarten, they would call each other and talk for hours. In kindergarten, they mainly hurled insults at each other and giggled, of course. The elementary school realized that their friendship was important, and put them in the same class every single year.

    Being on the “other team” from his friends meant that DS2 didn’t share any classes with them and couldn’t share notes and advice. He really hated it.

    So around noon, his friend from Myanmmar called him up to compare schedules. And it turns out they are now in lots of classes together. They have now been on the phone for TWO HOURS, so they are clearly resuming their tradition. Nice. I hope DS2 has a better year now that he is in class with his good friends again.

  42. “Both of them are kinda average looking. Her especially so.”

    Thinking of the picture I saw at the top of the NYT link, I was going to scoff at this characterization. But this is what Google turns up for images, and I couldn’t even believe it was the same couple. It’s like they hired two models to stand in for them walking down the aisle:

  43. LOL, I hadn’t looked at the guy’s linkedin until now. Who puts their ELEMENTARY school on Linkedin? And your “doctoral studies” for which you didn’t get a degree? Def douchenozzle. :)

  44. Haha Milo, they can be any couple walking down the street in Midwest. You know the guy is balding when he places his front hair like that!
    Actually she looks much better in your picture, more natural looking. Their pic on hiking outfit was where I thought they looked really ordinary!

  45. Mooshi – friends are so important. I am glad the scheduling has worked out.

    On the Southern weddings – I haven’t personally attended one – but the look as photographed seems all the same to me. The format is also the same – historic house with pretty gardens, lovely table setting (no food shown – only the cake). Groomsmen with pastel vests….
    Or as the MMM brigade would say “they have given in to the wedding industrial complex”

  46. “Haha Milo, they can be any couple walking down the street in Midwest. ”

    They certainly appear a lot more “Jim and Pam” in real life. But if their next adventure trip is navigating the Great Loop, I’m going to fu(king lose it.

  47. Mooshi, yeah, I’m aware that there’s ridiculous money sloshing around the horse farms, or was. Descriptions of Derby parties can be pretty ridiculous and name-droppy, in a way clearly intended to impress. Weddings, at any level, are usually intended to be celebrations of the bride and groom separately and as a couple, including how they came together and plan to continue their life together. That’s what the first article does, which is why I can’t see why people are being so pissy. My advisor’s wife taught at TLS. Only thing I was questioning was you connecting them with preppies, which I associate with the NE US.

  48. Milo, did you skip over the first point in the article I linked to? She keeps a list of where she wants to go/what she wants to do, so that when a deal comes up, she knows immediately if she wants it or not Think of all the times you’ve seen a great deal on something and not gone for it, just because you didn’t have the time that instant to figure out if it was a thing you wanted to do or not, or didn’t know the regular prices well enough to know if what you saw really was that much of a bargain or not.

  49. Why did he get a PhD in accounting unless he wanted to teach it?
    Because he likes it?

    About his looks and money–I never understood Prince Charles being called the World’s Most Eligible Bachelor either.

    Rhett, who’s angry? You must not have even sniffed at the piece in the second link. That author is kissed as can be, and not in the British sense. More like the character in so many comedies who goes to a wedding and absolutely can’t stand it, for whatever reason. Dude! Just check “regrets” on the RSVP. Or turn the page, in this case.

  50. Why did he get a PhD in accounting unless he wanted to teach it?
    Because he likes it?

    About his looks and money–I never understood Prince Charles being called the World’s Most Eligible Bachelor either.

    Rhett, who’s angry? You must not have even sniffed at the piece in the second link. That author is pissed as can be, and not in the British sense. More like the character in so many comedies who goes to a wedding and absolutely can’t stand it, for whatever reason. Dude! Just check “regrets” on the RSVP. Or turn the page, in this case.

  51. Saac – I skimmed the whole thing. I would bet that when the NYT couple wants to charter a sailboat off Mexico for a month, they’re not similarly waiting around for an Orbitz deal or Groupon to pop up.

  52. Milo, you’re probably right about that couple. But the woman in the link doesn’t have a “when”, other than maybe season, for what she wants to do.

  53. I always enjoy the long wedding write ups in our small town newspaper. A recent one described the engagement – the couple went out for some target practice, as one does on a Sunday afternoon, and she was thrilled to find an engagement ring nestled in the box of ammo. It’s our own little down South NYT.
    I went to a wedding in Charleston a few years ago that was supposed to look like the one in Mooshi’s link but was driven inside by a tropical storm and eventually evacuated when the riverfront reception site flooded. Thinking of that day while Hermine is blowing by outside. I have told my boys to think twice before agreeing to an outdoor wedding, but LFB is right, they won’t be let within a 1000 yards of that decision.

  54. Saac – I think I might find that sort of travel quite agreeable when I’m retired: keep an ear to the ground for last-minute bargains, jump if one presents itself, otherwise, reruns of Frasier.

  55. Thanks, Louise! We are stupid. Risley ( to whom I owe an e-mail), did your son return from Florida noticeably dumber after his summer job?

  56. I loved Ames! Only watched him on the Bachelorette, not BP, but he was sweet and smart. I must have missed his bad behavior.

  57. MM — So happy for your DS!

    I hope you ‘stupid’ and crazy Floridians have not been too affected by Hermine. It’s moving up north, so some of us will see rain this weekend.

    I first read Ames as “Amos”. That’s actually kinda cute as a name.

    Milo’s photo link reminded me of the Photoshopped celebrity pictures showing them as regular people. Like this:

  58. Is it sad that except for the reality shows and the pharmacy proposal (weird), the couple sound like a lot of the people I knew at school? A willingness to go on reality TV is a sure indication that you lack class, whatever your bank balance and educational pedigree may be….

    Mooshi, I’m glad your son will have his friend with him.

  59. Oh, but surely this reality show is classier:

    We were watching that with the younger two before the Olympics threw us off track. They looooved it, and hope it will be revived so they can sign up for it. My daughter dreams of being the next Sophia.

  60. They didn’t ban antibiotics. They banned certain antibacterials. Like triclosan. Some hand sanitizer side triclosan, but more are just alcohol.

  61. This couple seems cute to me. I don’t get the negativity that they seem to trigger, but I guess that’s the risk they take putting themselves out there in the NYT, reality shows, etc. I think they are young and in love and want to share their happiness with the world. Anyway, I love her dress.

  62. PTM – ask me after his quarter grades are out. He did use 2 peanut butter jars and 3 textbooks (presumably not ones he needs this semester, but who knows) as a makeshift support when his bed frame arrived damaged until he has time to create a permanent fix, but not being an engineer myself, I thought that was more ingenious than stupid. Then again, I did spend that weekend in Miami, so …

    MM – very sweet about your DS2 and his friend. I’m happy he has her in so many classes this year. Something like that can make such a big difference, and I bet it will have a really positive impact on his 1st year in HS.

    DD – I was so pleased to see the update about your DS. I’m sure you know this, but it bears stating anyway imho: I would guess that much of his new attitude came from being able to vent/express his feelings to his parents and have those feelings heard and dealt with respectfully. So often, I think kids just need to be able to open the pressure valve and let a bunch out. Not all parents are good at watching that happen. I consider this turnaround a great thing for your DS, but also a huge win for you and your DW, and your relationship with your DS. If my youngest DSD were part of this conversation, she would say, “hashtag parenting goals.” Which is some combination of: I hope to parent like this when I’m older; every parent should try to be like this, and; way to go, you are awesome.

  63. Risley, thanks for the kind words. I agree that a lot of the issues with anxiety and such that lids have are because they are unable or afraid to express themselves.

    I know there are plenty of things DW and I are doing wrong as parents so it’s nice to see we are getting some things right as well.

  64. Sounds like my low interest/knowledge level in chemistry is showing. Whatever the ingredients, it seems odd to ban them in one form of cleaner but not another. If the second doesn’t use that agent often anyway, then it’s all the easier to ban it there.

    Leaping to another off-topic: there was once a Totebag discussion of public nudity, with emphasis on the German proclivity for the same. I believe I mentioned saunas–big complexes with multiple pools hot, cold, and whirling, as well as rooms providing dry or steamy heat, indoor lounge areas with palm trees and chaises; and snack bars serving ice cream, beers, and fries. . But it appears the Germans are nakedly slipping, as seen in this survey

  65. Risely, you are so right about the importance of feeling heard, with all sorts of feelings!

    MM, amazing that your son and his friend kept their connection after being separated for several years. How nice that they are in classes together again!

    HM, glad you dodged the bullet, or the funnel cloud. I see plenty of pix of damage in our city, but no damage in our neighborhood. Taking a walk last night, I did not see any piles of branches or debris, and yards were fine. This area was built up around 2000, so was planned with good drainage; I’ve only seen a flood issue here once in three years.

    Louise, I know! If only I’d known (or listened to Lauren & a couple others on here) back then.

  66. HM – I remember that you also read “The Rook” by Daniel O”Malley. I just finished his follow-up book “Stiletto” and it is also quite entertaining if you are looking for a fun read.

  67. SSM, I have the sample on my Kindle but haven’t started it yet. I’m glad to hear that you liked it! My current ‘actual fiction book’ read is Date Night on Union Station.

    BTW, Gooseberry Community College of Magic reminded me a little of The Rook but I couldn’t put my finger on the reason — there aren’t obvious similarities in plot. Maybe the tight third person combined with a mystery and intruiging worldbuilding?

  68. I’m not always a fan of this author, but this reflection on the stage of life when kids are nearly ready to move out reminds me a little of the recent transitions conversation here. In our home, there is a kid just starting high school who insists that he is perfectly capable of living on his own and is discovering my tricks, from knowing when he’s lying to choosing games for us based on skills I wanted him to develop. But then he wants me to pour him a bowl of cereal, or to talk and laugh with him about all sorts of things. I did not feel I was rushing through his early years; I loved that time. But I am now looking forward to when he will be an adult, and our relationship will be so very different. Already, he is discovering things about me as a person and we discuss the world in ways he would not have been able to conceive of just a couple years ago. It isn’t always serious; last night I broke the news to him that Shaggy in Scooby-do was probably a stoner, and then I made a crack about Shaggy and “It wasn’t me” which led us to that song, so we are having fun.

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