By Pregnant Teen Mom
I just redrafted my will. I think Rhode is the one who wants my Lincoln so much, and I want to make her happy.
In this draft of the Will, which I went over with Junior, other than the Lincoln, he’ll get the house in The Villages, the cat, the golf cart, the box of Depends from Costco and pretty much everything else.
This time, I put in boldface: “IN NO EVENT DO I WANT A FUNERAL OR A MEMORIAL OF ANY KIND. THIS IS A DECISION THAT I HAVE MADE UPON SERIOUS REFLECTION AND IN FULL CONSIDERATION OF MY SURVIVORS.
Now, of course, this declaration doesn’t mean anything. Upon my death—and I do plan on dying—Junior (if he is 18) will have custody of my body and he can do what he wants. If he wants a parade with a jazz band down Jeb! and Columba’s street, he can do it. But I hope he won’t. My guess is that I won’t know.
I am aware this will bug some of those I am close to. This may also bug Jeb! and Columba. That is not my intention.
I find funerals and memorial services beyond gruesome. Far from providing closure for those most closely affected, they tear open a fresh wound and provide a spectacle for those who wish to gawk.
I so regret my wife’s service. My dad had to practically hold me up. My mother had the pain of trying to explain things to my son. I am sure there were many people who wondered why I couldn’t “man up”.
I left the reception before I could enter. My mother graciously greeted guests (but she didn’t like my wife).
I would never want to put my loved ones through that! Even if they have to pretend.